


Zoids Jeopardy

by topleka



Category: Zoids
Genre: Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2002-08-26
Updated: 2004-05-17
Packaged: 2013-05-14 19:02:08
Rating: K
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,227
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/933950/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/156779/topleka
Summary: The cast of Zoids goes on Jeopardy! Yay! Or not. Madness and mayhem follow. Chapter Two now up.





	1. Day 1: Destruction

It's...Jeopardy! 

Live, from the Sony Picture Studio...it's Jeopardy! And now your host: Alex Trebek!  
Let's greet our contestants. Our first contestant spent his life as a junk dealer before he joined the Blitz Team. Let's hear it for Bit Cloud! Next, a young Gunsniper pilot, also from the Blitz Team. Make way for Leena Tauros. And finally, Iron Kong pilot, Mary Champ. Let's play!

Alex: Thanks, and Welcome to today's special edition of Zoids Jeopardy. It's good to see you all here. Now for our first round. The categories are 'Zi-ography', 'Speedy Recovery', 'Liger Days', and 'Potpourri'. Bit, you have control of the board.

Bit: Yeah, I'll take 'Liger Days' for 1000, Alex.

Leena: Jumping right up to the top, now? Are you sure you can handle the pressure?

Bit: Of course I can handle the pressure. I'm sorry that you don't appreciate my genius, especially when it comes to ligers.

Leena: Just because you own one doesn't make you the expert.

Alex: Ahem. For 1000. It's the type of Liger specially designed to fight against a Zaber Fang.

Bit: ::rings in::What is Liger Zero!

Alex: I'm sorry, that is incorrect.

Bit: What?! You've got to be kidding. My Liger Zero beat the Fuzzy Pandas in two seconds. Liger Zero is great against Zaber Fangs!

Alex: ::sweatdrop:: I'm sorry, that's still incorrect.

Leena: Where's that genius you were talking about?

Bit: I'm sure I'm right. 

Mary: Honestly! You really thing Snowflake is good against Zaber types? You still have much to learn.

Bit: Oh yeah? Well I know enough to beat you in a battle.

Alex: Eh...you're running out of time.

Leena: ::rings in:: What is the Blade Liger?

Alex: Incorrect.

Leena: Say what?

Bit: Ha ha. You got it wrong too.

Leena: You laughing at me? I'll show you! ::grabs Bit and starts squeezing the breath out of him::

Bit: Glu...ack...ah...elp!

Alex: ::sweatdrop:: Mary? Are you ringing in?

Mary: ::rings in:: Both of you are wrong. The Shield Liger was developed by the Republic as a weapon against the Empire's Zaber Fang. What is Shield Liger?

Alex: Correct! 1000 dollars to Mary Champ.

Leena: ::drops Bit:: As if she needs it...

Alex: ::ignoring Leena:: Mary, you now have control of the board.

Mary: Of course. I'll take 'Zi-ography' for 200.

Alex: It's the number of continents on the Planet Zi.

Bit: ::rings in:: Wh...::gasp::..at...::deep breath::...ack...

Alex: I'm sorry, you're out of time.

Leena: ::rings in:: What is four?

Alex: That is correct. 200 dollars to Leena Tauros

Leena: Ha! I rule! Call it raw skill, baby.

Mary: Honestly, I don't see what Harry sees in that girl.

Bit: You're telling me? ::gasp:: She's not even pretty!

Leena: What was that?

Bit: Oh...nothing.

Alex: Um, Leena? You have control of the board.

Leena: Okay then. Speedy Recovery for 200.

Alex: It's the fastest known land zoid on Zi.

Bit: ::rings in:: What is Liger Zero Jager?

Alex: Sorry, no.

Mary: Is that Snowflake's cute little blue outfit?

Bit: The what? No! Liger doesn't wear cute outfits!

Leena: ::rings in:: What is Lightning Saix?

Alex: That's right. The Lightning Saix is indeed the fastest zoid.

Leena: Yeah! Leena scores again!

Bit: Who writes this stuff? Jager is way faster than any old Lightning Saix.

Leena: Oh Biiiiit? How's your score?

Bit: None of your business.

Leena: Let's say that the looser has to buy ice cream for the winner.

Bit: Fine. I'll win! And you'll have to pay for me!

Leena: In your dreams! 'Speedy Recovery' for 400, Alex.

Alex: She holds the record for quickest win with her deadly skills as a gunsniper pilot.

Leena: ::rings in:: That's easy. Who is Leena Tauros?

Alex: Um, no not really.

Bit: Ha! As if. You don't have any skills as a gunsniper pilot. ::rings in:: Who is Naomi Fluegel?

Alex: Correct. Bit, you have--

Leena: HOW DARE THEY SAY THAT NAOMI IS A BETTER PILOT THAN ME?!?!?!?!

Bit: Well she is.

Leena: Bit Cloud, take that back.

Bit: No way. It's true. You don't have enough skills to hit the broadside of the hovercargo.

Leena: Bit Cloud, you're gonna pay!

Alex: ::sweatdrop:: Are they always like this?

Bit: Why don't we settle this on the battlefield?

Mary: I wouldn't know...

Leena: ::gets an evil grin:: Fine! Before I'm done, you'll wish you had never seen me!

Alex: Well, erm...let's try Potpourri for 200.

Bit: I already do! 

Mary: Sounds good to me.

Alex: For 200 dollars. It's the battle mode that has no rules.

Leena: I'm a much better pilot than you!

Mary: ::rings in:: What is 0999?

Bit: In your dreams, maybe!

Alex: That is correct. And now it's time for a commercial break. We'll be right back.

::Commercials start rolling.::

Bit: (facing away from Leena) I'm *mrph* glad that's *mrph mrph* over. I can't wait for the *gulp* next round.

Leena: What are you doing Bit?

Bit: No*mrph*thing.

::Leena grabs Bit and spins him around to find him munching on cookies::

Leena: Bit, you little weasel! You brought cookies and you didn't tell me?

Bit: Well I don't plan to share.

Leena: (grinning wickedly) Neither do I...

3 minutes later...

::Commercials are over. Alex reappears and we see Bit crying in the background. Leena has a ring of chocolate around her mouth.::

Alex: Welcome back to Zoid Jeopardy. We have Bit, Leena, and Mary with us today. The current standing is Bit with -1000 dollars, Leena with -1000 dollars, and Mary with 1200 dollars. Mary, you have control of the board.

Leena: (under her breath) Not for long. ::whips out a pair of scissors and cuts the cord connecting Mary's buzzer to the machine::

Mary: Speedy Recovery for 600, please.

Alex: It's the top speed of the Raynos.

Bit: ::rings in:: What is Mach 3?

Alex: Sorry, that is incorrect.

Leena: Bit, you're an idiot. Dad said the Raynos could go beyond Mach 3. Of course, I guess I shouldn't expect you to know so much.

Bit: If you're so smart, why don't you answer it?

Mary: Alex! I know the answer, but my buzzer won't work!

Alex: It was working fine before commercial break.

Mary: ::lifts her buzzer and finds the wire is unattatched:: Well, I never! What cheap, lousy equipment! Truly, I'd expect more from a show that claims to be intelligent.

Alex: Sorry, I don't know how that could have happened. Um, crew? Could we get another buzzer for Mary?

Mary: If I ran this show, I would certainly make sure the equipment was more reliable.

::a bunch of guys run out and plug in a new buzzer::

Alex: Thanks, guys.

Mary: ::rings in:: What is Mach 3.3?

Alex: That is correct.

Mary: Great. Let's see...Zi-ography for 400.

Alex: Also known as the Western Continent, it's the largest body on Planet Zi.

Bit: Heh heh. It's Leena!

Leena: ::pulls her machine out of the ground and waves it over her head:: Bit Cloud! You lousy insect! 

Bit: ::runs as fast as he possible can:: Ahhh!!! I'm sorry! I was just kidding!

Leena: (still waving the machine above her head) ::chases Bit around the studio:: Too late you little creep! You'll be sorry!

Bit: I already am! HEEELP! Maniac's on the loose!

::Bit runs screaming out of the studio with Leena close behind::

Alex: I need a new job.


	2. Day 2: Confusion

It's...Jeopardy! 

Live, from the Sony Picture Studio...it's Jeopardy! And now your host: Alex Trebek!  
Let's greet our contestants. Our first contestant is a young Raynos pilot, and strategist for the Blitz Team. Please welcome Jamie Hemeros! Next up, we have Lightning Saix pilot, Kelly Tasker! And finally, please welcome Harry Champ! Now to you, Alex!

Alex: Thanks, and welcome to--

Harry: My name's Harry Champ, and I'm a man destined to be king!

Kelly: What rock did he crawl out from?

Jamie: We still haven't figured it out.

Harry: Leena! Darling! Everything I win here today is for you and you alone, my love!

Alex: Ahem. Welcome to today's special edition of Zoids Jeopardy. Today's categories are 'Famous Rulers', 'Straight from the Republic', 'Classy Warriors', and 'In Command - Wolves, That Is'. Jamie, you have control of the board.

Jamie: Yeah, 'Straight from the Republic' for 200, please.

Alex: This Republican zoid was modified by the Empire in a peace agreement after the Great War.

Jamie: ::rings in:: What is the Storm Sworder?

Alex: Correct!

Harry: That's not fair! These questions are rigged! He knows all about flying type zoids!

Kelly: If you don't mind, we're trying to play.

Jamie: 'Straight from the Republic' for 400, please.

Alex: This Republican zoid has the artillery capacity of three zoids.

Harry: ::rings in:: Hah! Anyone should know this! It's the first zoid of my beloved Leena!

Alex: You're running out of time.

Harry: Ah Leena! My love! I will win this question for you! With the power of my love, I--

Alex: Sorry, out of time.

Kelly: ::rings in:: What is the Dibison?

Alex: That is correct. You now have control of the board, Kelly.

Harry: But that question was mine! Mine!

Kelly: Sorry, you snooze you loose. 'In Command' for 200, Alex.

Alex: It's the shade of the standard Command Wolf.

Kelly: ::rings in:: What is white?

Alex: Correct!

Harry: Wait! I knew that!

Kelly: Gotta ring in faster. You're just too slow.

Harry: It's not fair!

Jamie: Quiet, Harry. What will Leena think if she sees you whining like this on TV?

Harry: Wha--? Of course! Leena my love! I may have lost the battle, but I'll win the war!

Kelly: Jamie, did you have to say that?

Jamie: Sorry.

Kelly: 'In Command' for 400, Alex.

Alex: This type of Command Wolf is blue, and can be equipped with various mobile guns.

Jamie: ::rings in:: What is the Command Wolf AC?

Alex: Correct.

Jamie: Let's try 'Classy Warriors' for 200.

Alex: In this type of question, I name a zoid warrior and you name their class. For 200. Jack Cisco.

Kelly: ::rings in:: What is Class A!

Alex: Correct. Kelly, you have--

Harry: Not fair! Not fair! She's on his team!

Jamie: Why don't you be quiet and pay attention to the questions, Harry. I see you're in the negatives in point value.

Harry: Hey Jamie! If I say I'm gonna win this, then I'm gonna win!

Jamie: Sure, Harry.

Kelly: Let's try 'Classy Warriors' for 400.

Alex: Leena Toros.

Harry: ::rings in:: I know this one! Leena, honey! This is for you! What is Class S?

Alex: Correct.

Jamie: Congratulations, Harry. You managed to bring yourself up to zero again.

Harry: I choose to ignore that. Now let's go with 'Famous Rulers' for 1000!

Alex: The first president of the Republic.

Jamie: ::rings in:: Who is...um...oh nooooo! I know this! Why can't I remember? Nooooo! ::falls over::

Kelly: What's wrong with him?

Alex: Jamie, you're time is almost up.

Jamie: ::jumps up:: I wish you'd stop calling me Jamie. Now who is President Helic?

Alex: Correct. You have control of the board, Jamie.

Jamie: I said knock it off with the Jamie stuff. Who do you think I am anyway?

Harry: Is something wrong Jamie?

Kelly: Yeah, you're acting weird, Jamie.

Jamie: I'm not Jamie. I am the Wild Eagle!

::dramatic music::

Alex: Okay, that's nice Wild Eagle. Just pick a category.

Wild Eagle: Classy Warriors for 1000!

Alex: Stigma Stoller.

Wild Eagle: ::rings in:: What is Class A?

Alex: Correct.

Wild Eagle: Classy Warriors for 800.

Alex: Naomi Fluegel.

Kelly: ::rings in:: What is Class A?

Alex: Correct.

Wild Eagle: Looks like we're tied, baby.

Kelly: I'm gonna beat you. I'm too fast for you.

Wild Eagle: Too fast, huh? Wanna bet? I'm the fastest zoid pilot around.

Kelly: Oh really? We'll find out now, won't we?

Wild Eagle: Let's go for a ride, little lady!

Alex: Well it's time for an ad break, but we'll be back soon. Be sure to stick around folks, it looks like Wild Eagle and Kelly Tasker have a date with speed. It'll be one exciting match that you don't want to miss.

Harry: Helloooo! What about me?

Alex, Wild Eagle, & Kelly: What about you?


End file.
